All packed up but no-where to go

I leave tomorrow for a trip - not a holiday as such, but because I have to get out of my house while they do some work on it. I have been packing everything up for a month, and wish that all the time and effort was contributing to a trip overseas or something. But, alas, I am going to a backward little town in NSW instead.
Well...it's not really that little I suppose. Quite a few thousand people live in the area. But the attitude of many of the people there make it seem 'small'. It has many racial issues between whites and Aborigines, very little cultural diversity - or any other kind of diversity for that matter!
'
Diversity' there is represented by few Chinese restaurants with the typical 'Honey King Prawn' or 'Beef in Black Bean sauce' type of dishes. Yum Cha? Chicken's feet? Hell no! I dont know of an Indian restaurant within 50 kms, but there is 'the' Lebanese family who own the deli and a couple of other shops that have been in the family for decades. Multiculturalism at its best. Oh, there IS a Vietnamese woman working at one of the restaurants, but of course she is known as "Chinese", because apparently that is what 'Asian' people are.

As for the racial tension between the indigenous folk and the white folk, that is through the roof. It's kind of like something bubbling under the surface, ready to explode at the right moment. Very sad that it's come to that - for everyone.

To be honest, I hate the place. I get mixed feelings as I am driving into it - firstly a deflated feeling - like the disappointment of arriving at your final destination to find it's not what you had hoped for - a feeling I never fail to experience, but still seem to be surprised by it.
Secondly, a feeling of coming home to people I love, because that is why I go there. You see, I grew up there and those who are dear to me still live there. It's a very strange combination of feelings, and I experience them all in the split second it takes to drive past the "Welcome to..." sign.

A sign of love and hate.

The mist clears

Been a tad manic here. Boring but manic stuff which I really dont want to have to deal with, but such is life. Even if I dont find the time to write my own blog, I always find time to read others. I am keeping up with a few blogs written by expats in VN. I enjoy seeing what other people write about their time in VN, and I find many little things trigger memories of my own time there..

Just now I was reading about someone's trip to Sa Pa. Although I have read quite a few posts about Sa Pa in various blogs, this time I actually remembered something I felt when I was there. It has nothing to do with the town itself, or even VN for that matter, so I wont be describing mist on the mountains or dye-stained hands!

The memory I have is of 'freedom'. I had been to Sa Pa before, but this trip I went as a 'single' amongst couples. It was the first trip I had been on in VN as a 'single' actually, and it was the first time since becoming a single that I felt a sense of contentment.

I remember as I walked up the hill towards the markets, I suddenly (and finally) felt that I was in control of my own destiny, and although I was alone, I wasnt lonely. I felt my senses awaken, and I knew I could gain as much, if not more, from my experience of exploring Sapa on my own, as what I would having someone by my side. Not that I am saying having someone to share your journey isnt a wonderful experience -because it is. But there are times when some journeys need to be made alone.

For me that was one of those times, and remembering that journey reminds me that when you least expect it, one chapter closes and another one opens.