moo

Being a sole parent, I am not 'in the know' about the whole intimacy deal between couples who happen to have their baby sleeping in the same room: I am sure most couples can get romantic on the shagpile rug in the loungeroom, but my flatmates may find that distasteful.
So, for me, romance needs to be in the bedroom which smells of baby puke, wherein sleeps the baby who wakes up the minute you walk into the bedroom, and decides it is playtime. Noooo amount of coaxing will get baby back to sleep, and every part of baby's behaviour is out of the ordinary. Do they know you're busy? Or, more to the point, would like to be busy?

I have been seeing someone..(I should just add who is not from internet dating, but have known for some time as a buddy, but it seems he is changing his status)...hence the inclination to 'get busy'..but am finding it impossible. Even putting a sheet up to block the view seems to simply encourage more play and chatter in order to get Mummy's attention (for reasons unknown, as attention is usually not required at that time of night ANY other night...)

The other little factor in killing all romance is the ability of baby to switch on every musical toy within reach. The musical mobile, for example, which plays twinkle twinkle little star. That certainly sets the mood. And the ball which makes cow noises. Mooing just does nothing for me.

What I find amusing, but am sure male friend doesnt, is the look of shock on baby's face when she notices a man in the room. Mummy finds the whole thing surprising enough, since it's been what feels like a century since a man came anywhere near my bedroom , let alone baby adding to that by staring at him opened-mouthed, following his every move..

..of which there arent many, I may just add. And until baby has own room, which will be forever because there actually isnt a spare one in the house, there may not be many 'moves' at all. I may as well just go join that Convent.

Nightlife

I am on the net every night after 10.30. At the moment, the reason for this is that I am trying the whole internet dating thing..minus the dates. Oh, I have been on one, but it was not what I consider a success. I am actually about to give up on the whole thing after my one failure of a date, but I am not sure what else a single mum with an 8 month old is supposed to do if she wants to meet 'a man'.
That is the first question I should address: do I really want to meet a man? I am fiercely independent and very set in my ways. I already share my life with my wonderful baby..but one day that little baby will be a big girl who doesnt need mummy so much. Then what do I do?
Sure, there is work, friends (and all their partners),dvd nights with myself and a nice crisp white..blah blah...but what about 'love'? Dont I get enough without needing a man? That is my big question.

I share a house with men - just buddies - and it seems to be a lot of hard work. There are also animals about too..a cat with neverending gastric, and a big hairy dog (actually the couch is generally hairier than the dog). I do love these animals, and the guys are nice too, but I feel like a bit of a Mother. Problem is I spend so much time 'taking care' of everything that I worry my baby is going to end up an emotionally unstable adult because she never got quite enough attention. So, I spend half my time 'taking care' and the other half feeling guilty and trying to make up for it.

No wonder I am going grey, and I am NOT supposed to because NO-ONE in my family went grey before 50. The dye-jobby is always an option, but baby ALWAYS wakes up just when dye-jobby needs to come out which means it gets left on way too long, and half my hair comes out with it. Maybe that will get rid of the greys.